THE LONG STORY

How God Transformed My Life and Brought Me to This Place

-Steven Farber

INTRODUCTION

 If you would have told me when I was 25 that today I would be a devout Christian playing Faith-based rock music I would have laughed out loud. In fact, if anyone would have told you that, you would have laughed too.  It just wasn't anywhere near the life that I was living, or planning on.

To start with, I was Jewish.  Born into a Jewish family that came to the United States from the Ukraine (then part of Russia) in the early 1900s, I grew up not knowing anything about Christianity. Oh, as a kid I knew about Christmas...Santa, presents, etc. because many of my friends celebrated it, and we sang Christmas songs in school. But the one thing I knew most about it was that I did not celebrate it or get any presents. I celebrated Chanukah instead.  I loved my Jewish heritage and I still cherish it today. It provided the foundation for who I have become.

I got my first guitar when I was about 5 years old. I have a picture of me holding it somewhere. It was a black & white plastic guitar my folks got me for my birthday.  I carried it around everywhere. When I was about 10 they got me a better one...a guitar made of wood! I made my Mom buy me a Mel Bay guitar method book and started learning to play on my own. After they saw that I stuck with it and was actually interested, my folks started me on guitar lessons.

I wrote my first song when I was about that age. It was a silly little song about being sick when it snowed and I couldn't go out and play. But, I still remember it! Thankfully, as I grew the content of my writings got a little more meaningful.

JESUS ENTERS THE ROOM

When I was a teenager, I used to go to the St. Louis Municipal Opera during the summers and enjoy broadway musicals...Oklahoma, Cats, Guys & Dolls, Brigadoon, and the like.  One year, when I was about 18, they brought in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar.   I had no idea about who Jesus was or what the story was about.  I had never heard the Gospel.  I remember watching the show with great interest, though...intrigued by the action.

Then the story got to the point of Jesus' passion. They had all turned on him...mocking, spitting, hitting him.  Turning him over to the authorities to be killed.  I was shocked.  I sat there with my mouth open watching this unfold for the first time.  I remember it like it was yesterday. The feeling was overwhelming.  I got a lump in my throat and my heart started beating rapidly....almost a panic. It was affecting me emotionally and physically.  I said out loud to my date, "How can they be treating God like that?"

Wait....what's this good Jewish boy saying?  I had just referred to Jesus as "God".  I stopped.  I sat there for a moment and realized what I had just done.  That moment stayed with me to this very day. I know that was the very moment God the Father called me.

Jesus had entered the room.

DECADES GO BY

I didn't do anything with it.   That moment came and went, but the thought was still there inside somewhere.  I was busy planning for a career as a rock star.   I wanted to be on stage, in the lights playing to giant crowds. I had a band (playing out since I was about 17) and we were getting pretty good.  We got so good at one point we were selected to open up for Eddie Money.  That was our big break...we were finally going to be rock stars!  But then Eddie got some sort of upper respiratory sickness and had to cancel the tour...our dreams were smashed, and that band broke up.

Over the years I had bands here and there, but when I met my future wife, Rebecca, and things started to get serious, she gave me the ultimatum:  "You can have the life of a rock star, or you can have a family with me...but you can't have both."   I, very wisely, chose her!

So I put away my guitars, and played just for fun every once in a while.

CHRISTIANS AND JEWS

My wife is Catholic.  That didn't sit very well with much of my family.  You see, Jews are supposed to marry Jews.  But I fell in love with a Christian girl.  So this was my very first close encounter with Christians.  Becca's family accepted me just fine...although her Dad did secretly tell her upon meeting me for the first time, "You know he's Jewish, don't you?"

This was also my first time going to a church.  I went along with Becca and her family to Church on Christmas and Easter...and lo and behold I didn't burst into flames!  I listened intently to what the Priest was saying. It was strangely similar to what they said in the Temple. With a few major differences of course.

So we raised our kids as "both."  They were Christians AND Jews.  Today I look back and see this as a blessing.  The core values and fundamentals of the Jewish faith are the same as in Christianity.  In fact, I learned that Christianity is actually the continuation of Judaism. I learned

that Jesus and his first disciples were all Jews! 

I came to start thinking, "Why can't this story of Jesus be true?"   I know he was planting seeds.

CONVERSION

When my oldest son, Ryan, was getting married, he came to the family and told us that he had decided he wanted to get married in the Church.  That he wanted to raise his family as Christians.  He told us that he was going to go to RCIA, the classes to learn about the Church and the faith and ultimately to be brought into the Church.

I remember the dinner table that night vividly.  When he heard about this, my youngest son, Nick stated boldly that he wanted to go to the classes too.  Then my other children (I have 5) each, one by one, said "I do too".  My wife and I looked at each other. And then in the moment of silence that followed, and everyone was looking at me...I found myself saying , "I do too".

It was a huge moment.  My wife contacted the Church and enrolled us all in the classes. I remember sitting through them each week for months with wide eyes as our Director of Religious Education, Shawn Mueller, connected all of the dots between my Jewish heritage and the Christian faith.  I found the answers to all of the questions I had always had.  It finally all made sense. My kids were bored to tears.

But Jesus was pulling me in.

BAPTISM

On Easter eve, at the Easter Vigil Mass on April 7, 2012,  my entire family and I were baptized and brought into the Church. It was one of the best nights of my life.  I was on fire and couldn't get enough. I started going to Church every day (yes, every day).

CHURCH MUSIC

Knowing my musical background, it didn't take long for the Church's musical director to start recruiting me for the choir.  I laughed at that and told her that my style of music and singing probably wasn't suited for the church choir, and I respectfully declined. She kept asking me periodically for a couple of years. 

I struggled with playing music at church because I didn't want to do it for the wrong reasons. I had always loved being "on stage" and playing music. I had loved the applause and the spotlight. But Church music was something different. It wasn't supposed to be about me. I wasn't supposed to be in the spotlight. It was supposed to be about Him. So I kept declining any opportunities to play at Church. I was very afraid I would be doing it for "the show".

It wasn't until I was asked by Betsy Struckhoff to play accompaniment for her on my guitar that I said yes. It was a beautiful song and all I had to do was play guitar.  This was going to be the first time a guitar had ever been played in that church. But I wasn't going to be singing or even standing up.  So we rehearsed the song and we played it at the end of all four Masses one weekend. 

At the first service, when we had concluded the song there was a moment of complete silence, and then the entire church broke into a loud applause.  I was mortified!  How can they be applauding?  This was exactly what I was afraid of. (Remember, this is a Catholic church and applause during Mass was unheard of).  I just put my head down.  Even Father Tom Miller, the Pastor was clapping. He mentioned in his final announcements that it was the first time a guitar had ever been played at the church and that I had done it "very prayerfully". They clapped again.

Afterwards, I went up to Father Tom and shared my concerns with him.  He told me, "You had your intentions right, and if they felt so moved by your music that they were compelled to applaud, it is okay. God obviously wants you here." 

THE CONTEMPORARY GROUP

Not long after that, I was approached by some at the Church to start up a group that would sing at Mass with more contemporary music, and using the guitar. They had been given approval by Father Tom and were going to sing periodically at Masses. They wanted me to lead it.  This time, I said yes.  We played once a month or so and people seemed to really enjoy it.  I still fought the battle between my ego and singing prayer each time. 

I kept wanting to grow the group. I wanted a drummer, a bass guitar, a piano...I wanted my old band!  But I had to keep all that in check because this was Church, not a concert.  It was a constant internal struggle for me.  Eventually, though, we did add percussion and more guitars, even a bass guitar. Finally, our group grew to include a great piano player and some more really great singers as well. We were now playing every Sunday at two different churches. We were now a full-fledged Praise and Worship band.  We played for 5 years.

THE PROPHESY

This is where the story gets surreal.

I was preparing for a special musical event I had volunteered for at another church.  The person that was originally scheduled to play backed out, so they contacted me and asked me if I could do it.  I felt that for some reason God wanted me to do this, so I said yes.

While I was setting up my gear, a lady approached me. She was carrying an envelope in her hand. She asked me "are you Steven Farber?" When I said yes, she held up the envelope and said "I have a word for you".   I had no idea what that meant.  I said, "a what?"  She said, "A Word."  She then explained that often she gets messages from God and they are for other people...even people she doesn't really know. She writes the message down exactly as she hears it, and delivers it.  I thought she was nuts.

So she handed me the envelope and told me that it was providence that I was there that night.  She said that when she heard I was going to be playing the music that she knew God had intervened and given her the opportunity to deliver this message to me. She said she wrote the message 2 months prior, but didn't know how or when she would encounter me to deliver it.  She was the keynote speaker that evening.

I asked her what the message was about, but she said, she didn't know what any of it meant. She just knew she was to deliver it to me.

She walked away and I sat there alone in the Church with the envelope in my hand.  I still thought she might be a bit crazy. I opened it up

and began to read it.  It read like a transcription of someone telling her exactly what to write. It began  "Warn Steven not to..."

Oh no.  What is this?

Here is what the "word" said:

"Warn Steven not to cast an image for himself, not to try to project an image of himself that he thinks is appropriate from what he's seen of others.  Steven is to be who he is, I've uniquely created him for this and he just needs to be genuine.  I have helped Steven and kept him for just this time.  Steven is to serve Me by sharing his love for Me and thus making My love known to all. This will bring Me glory.

"Steven will meet rejection and misunderstanding but is to remain faithful to the calling I've given him. As Steven's ego decreases, My presence will increase, and My blessings will flow abundantly.

"It is not a competition; you are not competing. It is My ministry, allow Me to lead and to use you as My instrument. Don't try so hard. As you praise Me from your heart, the others will be led into worship.

"Follow my lead."

I sat there for a few minutes trying really hard to understand what this meant.  What had just happened?  A woman I don't know -- and who doesn't know me -- just received a message from God about me, and was compelled to deliver it to me.  What?

There was a second page to the message. It contained several scripture passages and a special note. Among the scripture passages was one from Isaiah 49 talking about Zion's Children to be Brought Home. That made sense to me as a Jewish man converting to Christianity. Then there was a passage from John 3:30:  "He must increase, but I must decrease."  I understood this too...my ongoing struggle with ego and "performance."

There was also a scripture passage from Luke 4:24:  "And he said, Truly I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his own country". I didn't understand what this one meant...but I sure do now.

Then at the end of the page was this note from the woman:

"Several times as I was writing, I capitalized pronouns referring to Steven without intending to. I usually capitalize pronouns referring to God. I believe God was showing me how close Steven and God are."

This made tears come to my eyes...but I had no idea what this all meant.

I asked Father Tom about this "prophesy" and he said that God delivers messages in many ways. He often uses people to do things. He said I should feel blessed that I actually had some sort of validation of what I was doing and what my calling may actually be. Most people never get anything like this.

I showed the prophesy to Becca and some close family and friends. I didn't understand it all, but I knew that I was absolutely called to play music for God...and that he had a plan for me.

I wondered what it meant when it said "Steven will meet rejection and misunderstanding".   I sure found out.

REJECTION AND MISUNDERSTANDING

The band was playing at a Youth retreat in April of 2021. The event ended with the youth group attending and participating in services at the Church on Sunday morning.  They asked me if our group could also play the music on Sunday and although it was usually the Choir and organ at that service, we said yes. We were excited to play and had some great, powerful music prepared for the day. We thought everything went great...until the next day.

I received a text message (on our band's group text stream) that said simply:  Due to the complaints from yesterday the group would not be playing music at the Church any more.   

We had been booted.

Apparently, there were some at Church that day that did not appreciate my singing or the band's music. So much so that they complained loudly and forcefully to Father Tom and the staff that the decision was made to just stop this type of music at that Church. We were told that it was too loud.  I was even told that it would help if I would "stop screaming into the microphone". 

Needless to say, I was a bit devastated.

So...this is what He meant.  "Steven will meet rejection and misunderstanding".  Yes. I guess so.

I didn't take this all very well. Becca sent a note to the Church staff and Father Tom about how hurt I was. It went unanswered. Nobody from the staff called to explain or talk about it. I felt abandoned and unwelcome.  I felt isolated and alone. I felt humiliated and unappreciated. I felt rejected.  So instead of holding my head up high, I sulked.  I stayed away from the Church for months. I guess I was waiting for someone to reach out to me. I wanted an explanation.  It didn't come.

Then one day, when I was feeling really down, Becca told me to get the prophesy and re-read it.  I got out the envelope and we sat down together and read through it.  NOW things were making sense. Now I understood why that scripture was in there that said "Truly I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his own country".  I sure felt like I was "unacceptable".

RETURN TO THE CHURCH

I was away for months.  But after reading the prophesy again a couple lines really stood out to me. After telling me that I would be rejected, He told me that I must "remain faithful to the calling I've given him".  God told me I need to keep going.  He told me not to try to mold myself to fit the expectations of others...that I am supposed to be ME. To be genuine. That I was created for THIS.  I knew I had to return to the Church.  I also knew that somehow I had to persevere with my music.

Finally, Father Tom reached out. We had a long ride in his Jeep and talked everything over. It made me feel so much better and I knew it was time. I went to Mass on a Sunday for the first time in months.  As I sat down I looked around wondering which of my fellow church-goers were the ones who were happy I was no longer singing there. I wondered who were the ones that complained. I guessed about a few of them as I scanned the pews.  It felt miserable.

Later during that Mass I sat and silently prayed to God about the whole situation. I knew I had to get over it.  I said to Jesus in prayer "but they rejected me."   And I heard clear as can be "They rejected me too."

I broke into silent tears sitting in the pew.  I knew He was with me. I knew I had to fulfill his calling for me.  I just didn't know how.

GOD MOVED ME

I knew I didn't want to play music at Mass or any liturgical service anymore. I knew that wasn't exactly where I was supposed to be. It came to me that God wasn't pushing me out...he was moving me.  He was shifting me.  He had brought me into praise and worship music in the Church to get me acclimated to the genre...to introduce me to a new world of music and prayer. But now it was time to move on.

If I am not playing in the Church, why not play at events and concerts with the hopes of bringing others into the Church?  Perhaps God's plan for me was not simply to help church-goers pray more deeply, but to bring others to Him!  What if I could use my music to reach people who are outside the Church? Or those who are out of touch with their faith? Maybe I can use music to help spark something in someone the way I was sparked by Jesus Christ Superstar decades ago. 

I decided at that moment I was going to do just that.

So I contacted some of the musicians that were in the praise and worship band with me. I told them what I wanted to do. They were in.  So Larry Hecht, Dennis Pivin and I started getting together at Larry's to play some music.

God had moved me.  Now I had a new focus...one similar to the dreams of my past...I was going to create a new band. One that played shows and concerts. One that played rock music, but one that proclaimed God above all things.

GOD'S NEW MUSIC

It started coming out of me like water through a sieve. I don't even know how it happens...I get a thought and then words just start pouring out onto the paper. Before I know it a new song is staring back at me.  This was happening at a staggering pace...sometimes 2 songs a day.  The music would hit me and then wherever I was I had to stop and write it down.  Once while sitting in Church I heard the words "He will make your paths straight" and then those words kept rolling around in my head the whole service.  A melody was forming while I was sitting there.  Afterwards I ran out to my car and wrote it down on a napkin...and then went home and finished it. That was the origin of the song "Straighter Path".  Larry joked later that perhaps I shouldn't be writing songs during Mass.

I knew it wasn't me writing the songs. I knew I was just being His instrument. "Allow me to use you as My instrument"

Our set lists were being created!

GOD BRINGS THE BAND TOGETHER

Apparently God had lots of ideas about who should be in this band, and what their roles should be.

DRUMS.  My brother Bob was my initial choice for drummer, since he is simply fantastic and has a huge heart for Jesus (he converted decades before I did).  But his schedule just didn't allow for it.  So I thought, "Who is the best drummer I know (other than Bob)?"  I thought about Tony Buffa...the drummer that was in my band during the "Eddie Money" days.  I hadn't seen him for decades.  Would he be interested? I felt compelled to look him up and see.  I contacted him and asked him if he would meet me for dinner to discuss my new project. I told him he wouldn't even believe what I was trying to put together.  When I told him I was playing Christian rock music I could see the flash of WTH in his eyes.  But he listened as I told him the story of my conversion, the Church music, the Prophesy.  After a great night of catching up and playing him some recordings of my new music, he said he would "give it a try".  I was overjoyed, and Tony  became a staple of our group.

KEYBOARD.  I knew we needed a keyboard player, but I could not find one that fit. Larry had a friend that he had played with for years, but Brian didn't really have the time to commit, so we kept looking.  Then one day while attending a service at a nearby church, Larry saw a band playing. He felt compelled to talk to the keyboard player about what we were trying to do and asked him if he would be interested.  He said yes and Larry gave me his name and number.  I called up Matt Wright a few days later and met him.  He played with us for a year...it was great. But Matt had a young family and couldn't keep the commitment to the band, and he was forced to quit. Just as that happened, Brian's time constraints relaxed enough that he said he would give it a try.  God moves in ways we don't expect! So Brian became a key member (no pun intended) of the group.

BASS AND 3rd GUITAR.   I had always wanted a third guitarist for the band...someone to play lead guitar while I was singing. Someone that could round out what we were doing. But I couldn't find anyone that wanted to play Christian music and that seemed to fit.  Larry played guitar, but he was our bass player, so that didn't seem to work. Then tragedy struck and God worked a miracle.

In the summer of 2022 right when we were planning our debut concert,  Larry had a very serious accident while operating his tractor. He was propelled down a steep hill on it...backwards...until it slammed him up against some tree trunks at the bottom of the hill and came to rest on top of him. It crushed him. He broke his back, his ribs, crushed organs...he was in very serious trouble.  But God has a plan, and unfortunately for Larry, this had to be part of it.

While Larry was on the mend...which was going to be many months, we needed someone to fill in on bass guitar so we could keep moving forward.  Through the grapevine I knew of a bass player and contacted him, but he wasn't available. But, he suggested I contact his father, who was also a bass player.  I did, and told him about our band and about Larry's accident. I told him we were probably only looking for him to fill in at rehearsals while Larry mended over the next several months. He said OK!  This was our introduction to Erwin Emge.

As we played together, I realized how talented a bass player Erwin is.  Such an incredibly talented man. I really liked what he was doing with the music. I played some recordings for Larry when visiting him at the hospital, and Larry agreed...he was really good. Then Larry suggested something that changed the make-up of the band forever.  He said that since he was a natural guitarist, why not have him play the third guitar and let Erwin stay on and be the permanent bass player?

God had done it again. Larry is an excellent guitar player, but since he was playing bass I hadn't thought about him as the third guitar I had wanted.  Now that Erwin was in the picture, Larry might be available to fill that role!  I asked Erwin about becoming a permanent part of the band...and he agreed!  Later, he brought his wife, vocalist Janet Emge into the group.

Now we had the full set up I had dreamed of:  3 guitars, Drums, Bass, Keyboards and even an extra vocalist.  Plus a full-time sound man in Travis Brenneke. God had put the band together.  And I am so incredibly blessed to be able to play alongside these folks. Not only are they amazingly talented, they all have a heart for Jesus and a desire to proclaim Him through music.  Thank you Jesus!

THE NAME

So we were off and running.  The songs kept coming, the band was starting to gel, our sound was all our own and getting tight. I felt like I hadn't felt in years. But what to call this group?  Many names were offered, but nothing had the right feel. Nothing had any meaning.  Then one day it hit me.

I went back to the prophesy and the events that had started this whole thing. "No prophet is acceptable in his own country".  I thought about the scene where Jesus said this.  It was in the Gospel of Luke where Jesus returns to his home town and goes to the Temple and is asked to read the scriptures during the service.  He stands up and reads a passage from Isaiah where it speaks of the coming of the Messiah.  Jesus sits down after reading and proclaims "Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."   The greatest mic drop moment of all time.  Jesus just proclaimed to his own home townspeople that He was the Messiah they had long been praying for.  But after a few moments of amazement, they all turned on him, claiming that they knew him from just a child and he is just the carpenter's son. How could he be the messiah...and they all tried to kill him.  He then proclaimed "Truly I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his own country".

The scripture Jesus read that day was Isaiah 61.  I knew that had to be the name.

THE LONG STORY

So that is the long story.  It has been a great journey so far, and it is just beginning. I hope you enjoyed reading this and perhaps felt a bit of inspiration along the way.  God is great, and uses us for great things.  I feel him move me everyday. He is the reason I am doing this. Not that I don't appreciate the applause and spotlight...I still do, but He knows that. He gave me that drive. He gave me this personality in order to achieve His goals. And I just pray that I can fulfill his plans for me to His glory.  I try every day to do as he instructed in the prophesy: "Follow My lead."